


Three Thousand Years From Now

by lemonmangosorbet



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Modern Era, alternative title: Charon & Hermes hold the world record for longest lasting romantic relationship, this is sort of a modern au but you'll understand what I mean by that when you read it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 03:42:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29960415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemonmangosorbet/pseuds/lemonmangosorbet
Summary: But what the humans didn’t see is what amused Hermes so much. Over the years, they’d lost their ability to see things their little minds could not comprehend. He could happily walk around among them and they didn’t notice the lush wings sprouting from his head, or peeking out of the top of his sneakers. They failed to notice him when he ran from place to place, at speeds impossible for them ever to achieve themselves by foot. Hermes never failed to fascinate at how little the mortals could see.
Relationships: Charon/Hermes (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 94





	Three Thousand Years From Now

**Author's Note:**

> it was going to happen sooner or later- Charmes is one of my fave ships from Hades Game and I've had about a billion fic ideas for them. but this idea I had yesterday morning in the shower (the best place for ideas lol) beat all the other ones, and I wrote this idea out for myself as a little treat! sharing it here so maybe you can enjoy it too ;3; ❤️

Hermes entered the small coffee shop and a bell on the door rang pleasantly. The place was full of the murmurs of other patrons, but the barista’s keen ears still heard the sound and greeted Hermes.

“Welcome! What can I get for you?”

He came in here often enough that the barista could probably guess his order. Nevertheless, he stood near the counter, drumming his fingers on it, while he scanned the menu above the barista’s head.

“Hmm, I think I will go for a latte today- with one shot of vanilla syrup and an extra shot of espresso please!”

The barista started scribbling down his order, and he had a sudden change of heart,

“Oh wait! Make that two shots of espresso, pretty please?”

He noticed the barista raise an eyebrow and smirk at his request. He didn’t need them to say anything; he could practically read their mind.

“It’s going to be a long day, and I’ll need the extra caffeine!” he laughed. That was a lie, but a reasonable one to pass himself off as mortal.

Hermes paid for his order, and once his drink was ready, he took it to the small table situated near the large windows at the front of the shop. They were great for people watching. He slid into the seat and placed his oversized messenger bag in the other chair. Finally, time for him to enjoy his coffee and his break.

It never failed to amaze him how little humans could perceive. To them, Hermes looked just like one of them. A young man in figure-hugging jeans, wearing a t-shirt with a bright graphic on the front in hues of orange, and a bomber jacket decorated in an orange pattern. And let’s not forget his sneakers, the most comfortable pair he’d ever owned. He loved them so much he had them enchanted so they'd never wear out and need replacing. He lamented the shoes of his past that had worn out and eventually needed throwing away; he would not let that happen again.

But what the humans didn’t see is what amused Hermes so much. Over the years, they’d lost their ability to see things their little minds could not comprehend. He could happily walk around among them and they didn’t notice the lush wings sprouting from his head, or peeking out of the top of his sneakers. They failed to notice him when he ran from place to place, at speeds impossible for them ever to achieve themselves by foot. Hermes never failed to fascinate at how little the mortals could see.

All these years later, and he still hadn’t tired of them and their little lives. He loved eavesdropping and learning more about them. And of course, the occasional meddling when a human would pray to him. Well, not him per se; whichever god of their choosing. As aeons had passed, the humans prayed to the new gods they created, forgetting the original creators, like Hermes. But no matter what new god they prayed to, Hermes and the other gods of Olympus would still hear their prayers and choose whether or not to answer them.

Hermes held his coffee, enjoying the warmth the cup brought to his hands. He was lost in thought, looking out the window at all the people in this city running past, living their lives. He could relate to these city-dwellers; always busy, busy, busy and in a rush to get somewhere. Hermes loved it.

“Is this seat taken?”

Hermes was interrupted from his thoughts. He looked up to the smartly dressed man who’d spoken to him. He noticed that while the coffee shop was busy, it wasn’t full. There were definitely other tables this man could sit at, but Hermes wouldn’t refuse.

“No, go ahead!” Hermes replied, taking his messenger bag off the chair and settling it carefully next to his feet instead.

“Thanks.” the man replied, taking his seat opposite Hermes.

After he sat down with his coffee, he pulled his phone out; Hermes guessed he was also on a break. The man was dressed smartly and carried a briefcase, most likely a yuppie. He kind of reminded Hermes of Thanatos, except this man seemed nowhere near as serious as Thanatos.

Hermes pulled his own phone out of his jeans pocket; seeing the man bring his out reminded Hermes about his, and he had a particular addiction to a colourful mobile game. Time to make the most of his break and pass a few more levels.

While he solved the colourful puzzle with ease, he noticed how the other man kept glancing at him and smiling.

_‘Oh boy, here we go…’_

Hermes glanced up quickly from his phone screen and caught the man’s eye. They made that crucial eye contact, and then Hermes was back down to his phone screen. It was enough to make the man initiate a conversation.

“You on a break from the office too then?”

Hermes locked his phone and put it down to be polite,

“Yep! Well, sort of. I’m on a break, but I don’t work in an office. I need to keep moving, so I travel a lot for my job, going from place to place.”

“That sounds interesting.” the man grinned. Hermes had to admit, he was handsome.

“So do you get to go on business trips to other countries then?”

“Oh, all the time!” Hermes beamed, “Just one of the perks of my job I guess!”

“Well, before your break is over and you have to get back to running all over town, I’d love to get your number.”

_‘Smooth! He’s cutting right to the chase!’_

“Oh, that is very sweet of you, but I’m not sure how much my boyfriend would like that.”

Hermes tried to give his most apologetic smile, but he wasn’t sorry at all. He was used to this; he was a god. He exuded charisma and warmth and everything the humans found desirable. If he was going to play mortal for an afternoon, it was inevitable that this would happen. At least he did get a sadistic kick out of bursting their bubble after an offer was made.

“Aw well, that’s a shame.” the man said, sitting back in his chair and crossing his legs, “But you can’t blame a guy for trying.”

“No,” Hermes laughed, “I can’t.”

“Would you like me to sit at another table?”

“Oh! No, no! It’s fine, you can stay!”

Hermes knew he was giving mixed signals, but he just enjoyed conversing with mortals too much.

“Well, I hope your boyfriend doesn’t mind me eating up your break-time like this then.”

Hermes giggled at that,

“Trust me, he wouldn’t mind. He’s more the big silent type, and I do all the talking for both of us.”

The man laughed,

“I can imagine. You do seem like the talkative type.”

_‘Oh good. He hasn’t given up on flirting. This will be fun!’_

“So how long have you and mister silent type been together?” the man asked.

Hermes took a sip from his coffee; he needed to remember to drink it before it went cold.

“Honestly, it’s been so long I’ve kinda lost count of the years!”

He could see the man deflate a bit at that,

“That long, huh? And he hasn’t popped the question? Or maybe you should pop the question to him?”

Hermes’ melodic laughter filled the air. He tried to picture it; him and Charon tying the knot. Just thinking about the guest list for the wedding made Hermes’ head spin.

“I don’t think either of us is the marriage type! We’re just happy with the way things are.”

“Well you must be doing something right if you’ve been together as long as you say.”

The man mirrored Hermes’ action, taking a sip of his own coffee.

Just then, Hermes’ smartwatch vibrated against his wrist. A reminder to get back to work, and one of his most favourite jobs in particular. He took a generous gulp from his coffee in an attempt to finish it.

“Speak of the devil.” Hermes said, looking down at his watch, “I better get going! Back to work!”

“You also work with your boyfriend?” the man questioned.

“Yep!” Hermes picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder, “And I’ve got a work appointment with him shortly!”

“Mixing business with pleasure, huh?”

Hermes smirked and bid farewell to the man. Just before he reached the door to leave, the man called after him,

“Could I at least get your name?”

“Of course,” Hermes smiled as he held open the door, “it’s Hermes!”

Once he was out of sight of the coffee shop, he raced off at lightning fast speeds that no mortal even noticed.

* * *

The Temple of Styx opened her doors to Hermes, and the cool air greeted him.

“Come along now! You guys have got places to be! We need to get you all checked in and then settled in the appropriate places!”

He ferried the dead souls he’d collected into the temple, trying to get them to move more at his pace, but they dawdled, and glided into the temple in their own time.

As Hermes flew above them, his wings beating furiously to keep him aloft, he saw it- the skiff that Charon ferried. No matter how many times they did this, seeing the boat and Charon within it still make Hermes’ heart jump with excitement.

“Oh, hey there boss! Here’s today’s shipment for you! Come along now- Line up! Line up! Time to get you all on the ferry so my handsome associate here can get you to your new homes!”

Charon docked his skiff and then stepped off, and Hermes settled next to him, hovering so he could maintain eye level with the tall boatman. The dead lined up at their own pace and Charon held out his hand to accept their toll. Times had changed; the humans were no longer buried with coin to allow them safe passage. However, the Underworld couldn’t have the Temple of Styx clogged up with dead souls. Nowadays, each soul had an obol materialise in their hand as they approached the boatman, and with it, they could pay their entry. Hermes had come to understand that the recently departed received the obol if they had fulfilled certain prerequisites in life, but he wasn’t sure of the specifics.

The ritual was the same: the dead paid their coin to the boatman and took their seat on the skiff. Charon didn’t talk to them, and the dead did not speak to him either. All the while, Hermes floated next to Charon, his wings beating to keep him afloat, and he would regale Charon with all the latest gossip. Gossip from Olympus, gossip from Earth. He told Charon everything, and he knew that Charon listened.

“If it’s okay with you boss, I’ll take this trip with you. I’ve got some free time, and I’d love to catch up some more.”

“Urrrnngghhhh…” Charon replied.

“Splendid! Now let’s get going! The sooner we can deliver these shades, the sooner I can get you all to myself!”

* * *

All the souls of the dead had been dropped off in their respective places in the Underworld where they belonged, and now the skiff belonged to just Charon and Hermes.

Charon took a detour before returning to the Temple of Styx, taking his skiff through the relative peace and quiet of Elysium.

Hermes looked up at Charon from where he sat on a bench in the boat, and marvelled as Charon rowed. They’d been doing this for millenia and Charon had barely changed. Even his clothes- he insisted on wearing the same dark robes now as he had done thousands of years ago. The only big difference was that he wore a flashy gold Rolex that Hermes had bought him as a gift several years ago.

Hermes on the other hand still wore his trendy mortal clothes, but he was sure Charon missed the short chiton. Sometimes Hermes missed it too.

“Do you miss my chiton?” Hermes asked, thinking aloud.

“Hrrrhhroooohh, hnnnn…”

“Aw, I’m glad you miss it, but I think I’d stick out like a sore thumb in the mortal world if I ran around wearing my old chiton. Well, unless I was going to one of those frat toga parties with Dionysus- but I went once with him, and honestly Charon, never again! I saw things at that party that have scarred me for all eternity!”

Charon laughed at that, and it caused purple smoke to pour out of the gap between his teeth, swirling around him. He stopped rowing and put his oar down and then sat next to Hermes. He didn’t need to row, the Lethe would guide them back to the Temple eventually.

Hermes jumped up from the bench though and turned in his outfit of the day, showing it off.

“You may miss the chiton my dear associate, but you gotta admit, my ass looks great in these jeans, right?”

“Hhhaaaaaahhh…” Charon agreed, and now his hands were on either side of Hermes hips, pulling the little god closer.

Hermes giggled with delight. He felt Charon wrapping strong arms around his body. With Hermes standing and Charon sitting down, they were at eye level with each other.

“You know,” Hermes started, playing with one of the obols on Charon’s collarpiece, “today I went to one of my favourite little coffee spots, and this human was flirting with me.”

“Grrhhoooaaahhhhhh…?” Charon questioned, his hand idly rubbing affectionate circles into Hermes’ back.

“Yeah, he tried to ask me for my number, but I told him my boyfriend wouldn’t like it.”

Hermes smirked as he met Charon’s gaze.

“Mmnnnrraaauuugggghhh…” Charon replied.

The response caused Hermes to laugh hysterically first, and then gasp, feigning shock.

“You pervert! He did not want to fuck me in the bathroom! Just because you have a filthy mind and that’s what _you_ would do, doesn’t mean that this poor mortal was thinking the same thing!”

“Hrroooooooohhhh…”

Hermes blushed at the compliment.

“Anyway, he was a handsome chap, and I kept talking to him, assured him you wouldn’t mind. He asked me about you actually, and about us. I think he would have gotten a fright if I showed him the picture of us I keep in my wallet.”

Hermes laughed at the thought. He’d had it for years, an old Polaroid he kept in his wallet. One year he’d bought himself the camera, absolutely fascinated by the human invention, and then proceeded to take numerous pictures of his relatives on Olympus and friends in the Underworld. He had taken several of him and Charon, and one in particular of the two of them together made Hermes' heart feel light whenever he looked at it. He knew mortals kept photos of loved ones in their wallet, so he made a habit of it too. Even now, he was still learning and picking up silly habits from the humans. But having the photo made him smile, and he knew Charon liked it too. Charon had his own Polaroid of the two of them, but he kept his copy in his private room. Even the old man was not immune to human practices.

Charon laughed at Hermes’ suggestion too, and the purple haze surrounded both of them. He probably liked the idea of a poor, living mortal absolutely terrified by his skeletal features. This is why Hermes and Charon were meant for each other; they both loved to relish in teasing those poor humans.

The skiff arrived in the Temple sooner than either of them expected and made its way to the dock.

“Aw, our little pleasure cruise is over much too quickly!” Hermes sighed, his arms draped over Charon’s shoulders, “Still, it was nice to catch up boss!”

Hermes wings began their movement again, ready to help him take off and resume his duties. But one of Charon’s strong hands gripped Hermes by the jacket so he couldn’t get too far.

“Hheeehhhhhh…?” Charon said as Hermes stopped abruptly and turned to look at him.

He couldn’t help the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He knew Charon was saying: _“You’re leaving without a proper goodbye?”_

Hermes' wings stopped beating against the air and he settled into Charon’s embrace again. This time, Hermes wrapped his arms around the boatman and pulled him close, so his lips could meet Charon’s face.

Hermes closed his eyes and savoured the feeling of kissing Charon. He pressed gentle kisses against Charon’s teeth, and then let his tongue slip in between, so he could taste the smoke and cosmic material that Charon was made of.

Charon leaned into it, his strong hands moving from the small of Hermes’ back down to cup and squeeze his ass. This action gained Charon a happy and wanting moan from Hermes.

It was crazy; thousands of years later, and Charon still had this infatuating effect on Hermes. And he was sure the feeling was mutual. All those years had passed, and Charon still flirted with him, desired him, loved him… Hermes’ heart was overflowing.

He pulled away from their kiss reluctantly,

“I wish I could stay a bit longer.”

As Hermes spoke, purple smoke filtered out of his own mouth.

“Nrrnnhhh…” Charon replied. At least he was understanding about Hermes’ duties; he always had been.

“I’ll see you later, yeah boss?” Hermes placed one more quick kiss to Charon’s face, before floating off the skiff.

“Hrroooooooohhhh…” Charon said, just as Hermes reached the door to the Temple.

Hermes turned around and warmth filled his heart.

“I love you too.”

As a final goodbye, Hermes blew a kiss to Charon, which Charon pretended to catch while he also picked up his oar.

“See ya later!” was Hermes’ final farewell, and then he was off like a shot. Time to get back to those errands. He knew it wouldn’t be long until he could see his boatman again.

**Author's Note:**

> you can follow me on twitter:  
> my main: [@lemonmangoes](https://twitter.com/lemonmangoes)  
> my nsfw: [@spicemangoes](https://twitter.com/spicemangoes)
> 
> also, if you still use tumblr (lmao) you can find me there too: [lemonmangosorbet](https://lemonmangosorbet.tumblr.com/)
> 
> actually, I have been advertising my fics on tumblr, but my posts are getting zero notes. so if you've read this fic and you enjoyed it, please consider reblogging my post, so I may be able to gain a little more readership ;3; [check out my tumblr fic tag for those posts](https://lemonmangosorbet.tumblr.com/tagged/lemonmango+writes)
> 
> thanks for reading! kudos and comments always appreciated! ❤️


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